The challenges of parenthood

Two weeks into conservative management (CM), all in hopes that we won't end up doing surgery anyways. I have read about all the different stories. People who did CM for 6 months and then ended up having to do surgery anyways. People who did CM for one knee and then having to do surgery on the other. There's traditional surgery and there's TPLO. At least half of those dogs that had one knee go, surgery or not, had the other knee go too. Labs, Huskies, Berners, Rotties, Goldens, the list is long. All active breed dogs, though I hear that lil ones like Yorkies are likely to have this injury too. Then there are also the stories of dogs returning to their previous levels of health without surgery. Right now it's just day to day and the orthopedic appointment cannot come any sooner. I want to see the ultrasound and know exactly what we are dealing with. I wonder how much you can actually see. I want to know!!

Another challenge: keeping Riley's weight down. At the last vet visit we were at 81.8 lbs. We have been working on decreasing his weight from the 87 pounds he was a year ago. Yay! But now with activity restrictions, I'm sure we will be struggling to keep his weight down.
Strategy #1: adding bulk without the calories. I started adding raw, chopped carrots to his meals. It makes up about half of the bulk of his meal so that he can feel fuller, but the carrots are not absorbable at that size so they'll just come out the other end whole! Interesting huh? I also use the principle of sibling rivalry to my advantage. I try to feed him with Sabrina watching so that everything goes down, in fear that what he doesn't wholf down will undoubtedly go to his lil sister. Works like a charm. It's how I get his supplements down too!
Strategy #2: Hydrotherapy. I have been reading about dogs doing well with underwater treadmills or even swimming. Even dogs that have a fear of water. I am quite certain that Riley does not aspire to be a swimmer, but perhaps a little walking in the water would be good exercise. I need to look into finding a facility that is hopefully nearby and affordable.

I have come to realize that I'm an over-protective parent. Okay, everybody else had probably already figured this out, but I never thought I'd be this way. I thought I would take challenges in stride and not be too obsessive in protecting my children. But with this injury, I am a maniac. Maybe I won't be this way with my human kids and the only reason why I am this way is because you cannot talk and rationalize things with a canine. In addition, I refuse to do things out of fear. I like to make decisions based on information and I like to maintain the control that I ultimately get to make the decision. I feel like I have to watch his every step and analyze his every move. I am obsessed with Riley's well being at this point.

I think I've just realized that it is affecting my total stress and anxiety level. Instead of enjoying my family and having a good time, I am extremely anxious and okay, maybe a bit uptight. This past weekend, we went up to Pillsbury State Park in NH again. I was convinced that this trip was going to send us straight to the emergency room and then surgery. I was literally holding my breath for the first 24 hours, just waiting for the moment my Bernerboy's knee gave out. I was one stressed mama. Good thing I woke up Saturday morning in a more positive mood. Riley's knee seemed to have survived the morning's rambunctious antics and he seemed so happy. The weather on Saturday was gorgeous. A perfect autumn day for a hike. Sadly, this was the first hike in a long time without Riley. I cannot even recall when was the last time we hiked without the Bernerbuddy. I don't think we ever did, except when we hadn't gotten him yet. Sabrina is just 4 months old and not able to hike so leaving her in the car was fine. But Riley could not understand why on this perfectely crisp autumn day he was not running up a mountain with us. Despite my reluctance to hike without my boy, I realized half way up the mountain that I really enjoyed hiking with my mountain man, sans the furkids. I had forgotten what it was like to focus on just us and not be competely obsessed about my furkids all the time! Of course, upon our return to the car, it was difficult to explain to Riley that we had already finished the hike. He pulled on the leash and headed right over to the trail head as if to say, "What are we all waiting for?! Let's go hiking!" He continued to try and head into the trail despite our calls to return to the car. *sigh* Love is tough. Especially when the ones you love don't know you're doing it because you care about them.

Tonight Riley is limping again. Did we let him overdo it? Definitely yes. But boy was he a happy to be out in the woods, chewing on sticks, digging in the dirt, and breathing in the fresh crisp air. A trade off for some mental wellness.

Here's a photo from Riley's first Autumn as a 6 month old.